“There’s Only One Way to Rock”

The words are stubborn, neither timid nor emboldened. I have ideas about what I’d like to outline and draft. I even have a tentative title, but the story is clogged behind a correspondence that was painful to send. Regret may ensue now that the blockage has been cleared.

I received an offer of publication. Whoop! Whoop! Snaps for me. Let’s back up. One year+ into querying and my novel, Scars, Cars, and a Rock Star (SCAARS), hit the skids. Agents weren’t interested. While I received some partial requests and the writing was praised, my words, themes, and characters weren’t hooking the fish. Agents rarely provide feedback, and when given, it can be vague and contradictory—neither is actionable. I shelved SCAARS, but with one last Hail Mary submission to REDACTED Publishing. It only takes one yes, or so I’m told.

A manuscript dying in the query trenches is nothing new. Admittedly, when I started the process, this was a heartbreaking revelation. I learned that 82% of Americans claim they want to write a book. What do you mean—the thing that only 1% of Americans actually finish can die a slow death because an even smaller percentage of agents have to love it before an even smaller percentage of editors will take it to their publishers to turn it into a physical book? Reasons to self-publish. Or to take up knitting and end the madness entirely.

I’m ecstatic I received this offer, not just because it kept SCAARS from crashing into the guardrails after hitting the skids, but as a bit of validation. Maybe it doesn’t suck. Perhaps cancer themes, struggles with self-worth, and second chances after 50 won’t be a hard sell. REDACTED Publishing relies heavily on its authors doing their own marketing, so the hard selling would fall to me anyway, as it would if I self-published. And why I’m blogging, sending newsletters, and hoping that you lovely folks will share the good word.

But … I’ve turned down the offer. But wait! That’s the end goal, right? 100%, it is. The rejection email sat collapsed in the dock of my Mac for nearly two weeks. I never procrastinated so hard in my life. Besides being difficult, there were reasons (attempted leverage), and the waiting was stressful. So why turn down the opportunity?

REDACTED Publishing is a digital-first publisher with print-on-demand availability through Amazon. My short-term vision for SCAARS is a physical book that I hustle so hard it earns out. This is a lofty goal. Only about 25% of authors earn out their advance, if they even get an advance at all. My long-term vision for SCAARS is to be sold in the gift shops of some, if not all, 73 comprehensive cancer centers in the US. Or at the very least, the Simon Comprehensive Cancer Center that treated me as if my breasts mattered. This even loftier goal may fail for any number of reasons, the least of which are the hundreds of curse words, and the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. 🤘

But SCAARS, if (when 🤞🏻) published, could be the first fiction book representing the DIEP Flap breast reconstructive surgery. Wanting some basis for this claim, I consulted ChatGPT. I prompted: Compile a list of contemporary romance, book club, or women's fiction books featuring a character who has undergone a DIEP Flap breast cancer reconstruction surgery.

Ever see ChatGPT flounder? Frankly, it’s fascinating to watch. I seemingly stumped it. What this looks like is a series of website addresses flashing across the top like a ticker tape while the robot scours the internet, only to come up empty-handed. Chatty Chatty Bang Bang would not be defeated, and it gave me this conciliatory answer:

Short answer up front: I couldn’t find any contemporary romance / book-club / women’s fiction novels that explicitly name “DIEP flap” as the reconstruction used. The term DIEP flap appears regularly in medical articles, survivor blogs, and memoirs, but it’s rarely (if ever) spelled out by name in the mainstream fiction I could find.

Aside: I queried Gemini with a similar prompt with the same results, although Gemini came up short faster.

These answers somehow make SCAARS feel bigger than me—something uplifting to women who have navigated or will navigate similar circumstances. Approximately 23,000 women undergo DIEP Flap surgery every year. As impressive (and sad) as that number is, it represents only 1 in 5 reconstructions. Why? Because it’s not well-known and requires a very skilled surgeon. Maybe my emotional romance novel could entertain and educate.

As some of you know, being a published author was not my dream. My dream was to be Jay Leno’s first fine artist interview on The Tonight Show. 🤣🤣🤣 Ship. 🚢 Sailed. ⛵️ So, I’m not ready to compromise on my goal for SCAARS just yet. I wrote Borrowed Bandana to open a door for SCAARS and earn a seat at an agent’s table. And the book I’m outlining now may be the manuscript that gets Borrowed Bandana a foot in the door. And so on. And so on. I’m still writing for the future of SCAARS.

Sammy Hagar says there’s only one way to rock. There’s no basis for this claim. Three years after penning that ditty, even he would discover this falsity firsthand when he joined Van Halen. If there were indeed only one way to rock, Van Halen would have fizzled out when Diamond Dave exited stage left. Back to ChatGPT: Is there only one way to rock?

Short answer (given instantly): Nope. There are many ways to rock.

If you’re riffing on the Sammy Hagar song “There’s Only One Way to Rock,” the title is more swagger than truth. In music, culture, and life, “rocking” has always been a pluralistic sport …

And Chatty Kathy had a list of musical sub-genres, spiritual attitudes, and philosophical ways to rock.

Potentially publishing is the same, and there are many ways. And this declined offer isn’t batshit crazy. What it comes down to is determination versus gratification. Is something better than nothing? Or vice versa. Did I make a huge mistake? Is SCAARS worth holding out for more? I went with my gut. I hope I don’t regret it.